A Worthwhile Question

 

Two months ago I wrote a post about Little City Love transitioning through A New Season. As is often the case with plans, the transition deviated far from the expected path. The biggest change was that my ally in the trenches, my good friend, my business partner Lucas decided to move on from the company to more personally fulfilling things. So now, it’s just me.

Print Warren Journal

THE FORTHCOMING

If you follow the Little City Love brand, things are about to take on a significantly different style. In the spirit of encouraging honest and intimate dialogue, I’ve decided to be more forthcoming with who I am, what I think about, what I'm hoping for, and more, so that you can feel comfortable being that way yourself, with me and in general -- my friend Katie once showed me a quote from E. E. Cummings that applies here: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

Within the next few weeks, I’ll also be revealing the why behind starting Little City Love. It’s deeply personal and it’s the wholehearted reason I believe you should take every opportunity to write messages to the people in your life. It’s just so, so, so important.


THE WORTHWHILE QUESTION

It’s also important to write “messages” to yourself. In three months, maybe in three days and especially in three years, you won’t remember exactly the person you are now. Like, you won’t remember what mattered deeply to you at this moment or what you were struggling with or what preferences you had. You might think you will, but please trust me when I say you just won’t. Think back three years, what had you just learned about yourself? If you actually remember, you’re one of the lucky ones. If you’re like me, that question leaves a disappointing question mark. So I want to encourage you to write to yourself on occasion, and I’ll write my own version here as an example (and you can decide if it’s worth doing so for yourself moving forward).

Who am I now?

I like to work in empty spaces, with windows full of natural light and a busyness beyond them. I like to think in the dark, the darker the better. I haven’t bought a pair of pants or shoes in over two years. I drink a coffee every day, not because I need it, I just want it. My most difficult relationship is with my dad. My easiest is my dog. I want to be an artist, more in philosophy than in practice -- this is probably my biggest actionable struggle right now.

I’m deeply troubled by the events in Syria, and by violence throughout the world sustained in part by the victimization of children. I’m realizing that I am a sensitive person, which I am still coming to terms with. I hate the sound of crumpling plastic or paper. I eat more bananas than anything, even though I’m indifferent about their taste. I am naturally empathetic, but not naturally patient. I grew up going to church, but I can’t bring myself to go anymore -- the culture of “otherness” and exclusivity is too much for me -- it doesn’t feel like love.

I bite my fingernails, especially in moments of suspense or anxiousness. I last read “Born Standing Up” by Steve Martin (It was pretty good, he certainly put in his time to be successful). I prefer fiction to nonfiction. I’ve noticed that I’m breathing less deeply these days. I miss the time I lived in England terribly and think often of returning. I often end up working so late at the office that I sleep there. I want to live in a small space someday with a bed, a kitchen, a bathroom, a closet, some plants, big windows, and hardly anything else -- to begin each day with a coffee in bed or on the floor sounds healthy, humbling, simple, perfect.


THE NOW

The biggest thing I notice about myself is that there is so much I don’t know and so much I wish I could do, which can be frustrating at times. My favorite quote, by Rainer Maria Rilke, is an oft-needed reassurance. I’ve included it below as a free digital download if it speaks as meaningfully to you as it does me.

If you have any thoughts, suggestions, or questions, please let me know -- I’ll happily respond. Or, if this prompts you to publically take your own “snapshot” of yourself with words, please share with me!

High fives + good vibes,

Clayton Fuller

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

Rilke Poster
Rilke Printable